When we think of a gift, our focus often turns to how it makes the recipient feel. However, psychology and neuroscience suggest that giving may have an equal, if not greater, impact on the giver.

There is a neurological basis for the joy we experience when we give to others. Jessica Andrews-Hanna, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Arizona, points to “evidence from brain imaging [suggesting] that both giving gifts and receiving gifts activate core areas of our brain associated with reward and pleasure.” A wealth of research supports the idea that spending time or money on others boosts overall happiness. This concept is echoed in behavioral economics through the idea of the “warm glow” – the emotional uplift people experience when donating to a good cause. At its core, gifting is a timeless part of human culture and a meaningful way to build and maintain social connections.

However, gifting is not exclusive to humans – it is, in fact, a widespread phenomenon across the animal kingdom. Female spiders, for instance, impress potential mates by presenting prey wrapped in silk. A 99-million-year-old amber fossil even revealed evidence of gifting behavior dating back to the age of dinosaurs: a male fly was preserved mid-offer, holding a “frothy balloon made of mucus” between his legs.

Bonobos, one of our closest relatives, also display altruistic gift-giving behavior. They have been observed giving up prized foods like bananas and apples to build social bonds with others. Clearly, the practice of giving gifts transcends human culture and is deeply rooted in the natural world.

This past week, we were tasked with creating memory sites that were personal to us—designed in a way for us to capture whatever particular memories we felt were important. It was so interesting to see what people chose to build their memory sites around, whether it be a fishing trip or a dream log. It was curious to see which memories people selected, because I think it speaks to how each one of these people lives their lives. When you decide to capture a particular memory, it changes how you approach a certain part of your day, forcing you to consider what you value and what is worth remembering. Being asked to decide what parts of our days and lives need to be remembered was a powerful experience—not only in creating my own site but also in seeing other people’s sites, because it allows you to see their values and how they process their life. In understanding people’s memories, you begin to understand what they consider a gift. And to understand what someone would appreciate as a gift is to truly see them—to see the world through their value scale. This exercise allowed us not only to recognize that in ourselves but also to better see other people and their perspectives on value. Our lives are heavily influenced by our memories—they give us direction. To understand how a person remembers things, and what they choose to remember, is to see where they’ve been and also where they’re going. In a way, building these memory sites was like creating a resume—but not one crafted to impress a boss or employer. Instead, it was a resume built on a personal value system, a reflection of what we consider worth holding onto. It’s not about selling ourselves, but about understanding ourselves—choosing the memories that matter most, not for others, but for us.